Holiday

As I get older, it seems to me that holidays are increasingly commercialized ventures which exist for corporations and businesses to sell products to us which we think we need to buy in order to prove something on these "special" days of the year. Since Valentine's Day fell on a Monday this year, I found myself struggling to get the things I needed to do accomplished today. It was a pretty busy day without all the lovey dovey stuff I had to prepare, and I barely finished half of the things on my to do list. And on top of that I was late to dinner. Sometimes, holidays are just frustrating. If they don't live up to expectations, people can be very hurt and let down, which seems to happen more often than not. So why do we put ourselves through all this stress? Why do we spend so much time, effort, and money on these holidays? Is it worth it? Sometimes I think it is, other times I am not so sure.

 

I am a sentimental person. I am a hopeless romantic. So naturally, I do enjoy preparing valentine treats and gifts for the people that I care about. If I could afford it, I would spend money on all my friends any time I saw something that I knew they would like. Last week, my graduate school cohort decided that we wanted to exchange valentines like we used to in grade school, "the cheesier the better." I really took this to heart and ordered several personalized valentines day cards from walmart.com where I could insert my own photos into the cards. I also made little goody bags for everyone. It wasn't so bad as there are just 13 people in my cohort, myself included, however I ended up spending a bunch of money on this. While I enjoyed this little project and embraced it as a fun, creative way to procrastinate my homework and other projects, I found myself thinking more and more about the significance of it all. Really, valentines doesn't mean much more than flowers and chocolates these days. Not many people even know the story behind the holiday, which really is based upon the martyrs of several Christians called Valentine. No one knows for sure how the commemoration eventually came to be the holiday where we express romantic love in society, although several stories attempt to account for this. It could also be a mesh of commemorating the Christian saints and the "pagan" Roman Lupercalia festival, which focuses heavily on fertility. Either way, no one really focuses on the origins of the holiday or the true meaning behind it. The fact is we are socialized to expect romantic behavior from our loved ones on this particular day of the year because that is how things are. It's interesting because greeting cards, chocolates, and flowers has become such a major part of the holiday, and yet no one really knows why either (although I strongly suspect it is because women like receiving these things from their significant others).

Thinking of the story behind Valentine's Day reminds me of those holiday door decorating contests our classrooms used to enter in grade school. The class with the best door decorations won a pizza party or an ice cream party, depending on the holiday. When I was in 8th grade, my homeroom class was particularly good at these competitions, thanks to the competitive Mr. DeWolf who taught us that year. Our class had not planned on entering the contest, and the day before doors would be judged we brainstormed about what we might be able to come up with just for fun. I remember bringing up the most random ideas, you know, just in case they might work. And just days before, on February 1, 2003, the space shuttle Columbia had that terrible disaster in which it tore apart upon re-entry. I mentioned that event and everyone looked at me as if i was crazy. After all, it was such a somber event. But then a classmate and I turned the idea into a "Tribute to Columbia" and its astronauts. Some classmates met early before school the next day, Friday, February 7th, to put together the door decor and we ended up winning the contest over Miss Bissonett's class next door who chose to dedicate their decoration to the story of Saint Valentine.

For some reason, this experience makes me think of just how silly this holiday can be. What does it mean if we treat it as a day to give and/or receive candies and treats? Would any other day be just as special if we managed to put more time and effort into showing our loved ones how much we care? Just think of how much more special flowers would be on a random day, just because. I think the sweetest gift I had been given by someone was not flowers and chocolate on Valentines Day, but a simple post it not on my car saying, "I love you" out of the blue. While I do believe it is good for society to dedicate a day to love (or lack of it - Singles Awareness Day is also on February 14th :P) as many people don't think to make time for giving their loved ones flowers and chocolate on any other day, I also believe we should be treating the people we care about with the same respect, generosity, and kindness as we do on this, the 14th day of February, every other day of the year. So I challenge everyone to be more thoughtful and aware of giving and serving our loved ones today, tomorrow, and everyday.